This is the english version of my original that post I put here. Thanks a lot to Ale M for bring me this translation as a gift to share my history to more people.
There are many things behind The Hum which are extremely important to me. It is more than an idea or a story. The Hum symbolizes too much in my life. There’s a lot of me that most do not know, neither the things that I spent over the years, and my health issues and how it all leads to what looks like a simple game of horror aliens.
For me to be here today doing this game, lung and slowly, but doing so means much more than “doing little games” and today I came to share a bit of how I got here today.
23 years ago I found myself playing something you might know. It’s called Doom. I was blowed away with 7 year old. It came from my 2 year old trying to schedule. I learned to read at that age thanks to my old ZX Spectrum, which I still have (destroyed …). When I was 5 or 6 years trying to program in BASIC and I was frustrated by not achieving the desired results. I was happy when, after hours of copying code from a magazine of the time, I could compile and play a game that “I had done.”
I played DOOM on the computer from an acquaintance. I had no PC, nor did I for many years. But it inspired me so much that I continued doing programming on paper and game design, drawings and cartoons of my ideas. Was 8 and arming stories about aliens, worlds at war, races and cultures conflicted and “radically different” to human. I took that line from the mouth of the guy Captain Picard of Star Trek, TNG, then passing through the channel 2.
My life was not easy as a child and at the mercy of a bipolar mother and with many issues, creativity was the only refuge, and doing game design embodied and stories for what will someday be the “super game” was going to do when I had the unattainable age 20. I had read a magazine which had as few joss sticks called John Romero and John Carmack had achieved amazing feats, similar rock-stars of video games, and never stopped dreaming emulate.
Life took turns. With the death of my grandfather, who was acting as a parent, the situation at home was unbearable and my 14 years decided to leave. Since then he began a series of adventures (and misadventures) relentlessly that made me go to sleep in the street, do not eat for months, work from young face several situations that if I start to describe, not end more, but were formed much that I am now.
Along the way, my health was deteriorating. Until I hit about 18 years where my body said enough and stopped moving, invaded by infinite pain. The only option was drugged doctors to pass out, but the pain just does not loosen. With the help of people who passed through my life (And how much happened!) And with much effort, I tried the same: keep going.
I saw other people complaining, desultory, the things that “had” to do and I envied them lucky to move, not to be suffering from constant pain 24 hours a day. Gradually I came to understand that just is what touched me. It’s hard to explain how my health and pain and impediments that generates my behave, but many people do not even notice. I see giving talks, sees me go to events, but I barely leave the house. Assemble a matte, toileting and even typing are enormous effort and suffering, but is what I do.
Every day my wife helps me to my feet. First I moved one leg, then another. I massaged his arms and help me ease the pain of the teeth, eyes, head, back, skin, fingers. I say words that no one else can tell me and reminds me that I can with all that. They are one, maybe two hours of great grip to start the day, and the ring.
I never forgot my dream of making games. When I was in the street when my health deteriorated, while there were people who gave me life at all times, it was always a negative, sarcasm or “no” to that dream. That in Argentina do not play, you have to have money. With the health you can barely move and develop games less.
With much effort, at age 22 I started working in the buffet faculty, then attending a cyber. Just suffered horrors, merely walking, talking to people, trying not to pass out all the time. But I had to…I had decided…But why would I live, if not to fulfill my dreams? I got my first real pc at 23 I knew programming stuff for using paper and some Pascal time ago in one computer that was shared with people who lived.
I started working on computer with the help of people who let me and I am confident I could do well, making systems and databases. Returned to work and spent hours and hours learning how to make games using flash. At the same time I tried several careers in college and internalized in Yoga and similar disciplines that made my burden more bearable.
While I decided leave that job, which was stable in the months that had climbed just enough to go to work in a game company, which were just beginning to appear in Argentina, I moved out of town and without a weight, I went searching, trying to hide in every interview my terrible discomfort. And so I started making games “professionally”. I had great teammates and people that just did not bring. I’m a weirdo. Someone who eats weird to feel your best, it does not go to meetings because you die in pain or appear to have face endures constant ortho because day and night to keep from fainting, usually seen weird.
My experiences and what I face every day I was giving a character a bit harsh in many respects. But it also made me realize over the years that you have to be thankful for all we have. I have known many people who have said things about me without even knowing and hardly know all these ordeals. “Ladran Sancho”.
The Hum is for me much more than a game. It is the fruit of 20 years of work hard day at night to feel that life is for something. When I was in the street asshole thought “I will fulfill my dream.” When I fell and when I went from doctor to doctor with pain breaking my life, and still does, I always thought “I’ll do the same.” I lost many people who are no longer in this world. Whenever something seemed to pick up, I passed some test: a death, a big misunderstanding, an economic tragedy, a crisis in the environment. But I get stronger and always looking forward.
Today I am doing, little by little, my two dreams: making games, and have a family. Years ago I was resigned to never knowing who was going to have a family. With my situation, my health and my “stuff”, having children was not an option. Making games, traveling to another country, talk to people, go to events, either.
My obstacles have not changed much, but I grew up. So today these things are fulfilled. My daughter is ready to be born and is the most beautiful feeling one can imagine. For her I’m going to continue this way as well as I’ve done with the claw that each day takes me to get up and go to bed. She chose me as a parent and I can only be grateful.
The Hum is much more than a game, a story to tell. It’s my way of expressing infinite. I come arming the universe of The Hum from my childhood, and was mutating again and again. It is the expression of how something can be absolutely gigantic and apparently insurmountable, but you can find equal meaning to life. My health problems for years, I called “The Beast.” That’s The Hum, but also how tame the as demystify the as transcend it.
So to The Hum and all the games i dream of doing, still lack a lot of work. No doubt it is a great effort, but is not something to strive what subject. So I have no doubt that they will get their hands on this game and many more! And grateful I am for all the words and comments coming praising me or supporting what The Hum is almost always without knowing all this today here tale, but that makes every “good work” they tell me, is worth a thousand for me and every review a door for further improvement.
I can not end this post without telling everyone who is doubting their dreams, or shot by situations that do not be fooled. Life is not easy, but this is like being gamer. If everything is too easy is boring! The best achievements are achieved with effort and enjoy more. There is always another chance and we can always give more than you think. Never give up.